Harmonising Your Health

From a dads’ perspective

Having spoken to a number of Doula’s, my partner, T and I found Caroline very knowledgeable in vaginal births after caesarean (VBAC) and very easy to talk to, which we felt was vital in selecting the right Doula.

She involved me from the very beginning, which others had not and I immediately felt I was part of the team. She explained her experience and her own life very clearly to both of us. She also explained how homeopathy could help and though we were pessimistic at first, she answered all our questions to alleviate any of our fears about it.

T contacted Caroline on Friday night, as she had been having niggling contractions all day and Caroline advised what to do. Caroline rang on Saturday morning and said that she would pop over to see how we were. Upon her arrival T was having heavy contractions. I was not helping much myself, but Caroline immediately took control of the situation and placed T into a far more comfortable position on the stairs. She was very calm and made sure I was helping as well.

During a bath, Caroline noticed that something was not quite right and the baby was unhappy. I immediately called the hospital and they asked us to come straight in.

We met our Midwife and Caroline was translating everything she was saying into English. She was informing us what we could do, but not imposing herself. All the decisions were left to T and me, but we were making more informed choices. The midwife was sticking to the hospitals policy, but Caroline gave me such confidence that I could overrule any decisions that I knew T and I didn’t want. The midwife was certainly being firm why I wasn’t taking her advice, but I knew it was T’s and my baby and we wanted it delivered our way. Without Caroline, I would not have had the confidence to even challenge a midwife.

During this time Caroline was continuously helping T. She seemed to massage her back for hours, but she knew exactly what to do and when. Caroline made sure I was helping T as much as possible and she demonstrated how to massage her back. She also provided a number of homeopathic remedies during the labour.

T and I were both getting tired as the day wore on, but Caroline did not slow down or seemed to stop for a rest. Her energy lasted the entire day without any complaint. I believe this energy was passed onto T and myself and kept us both going.

Sadly, as hard as we tried for a natural birth, it wasn’t to be, but Caroline came with us to the theatre, at our request and she stayed with T after the birth of the baby.

T was allowed home the following day, which was fantastic considering she had had a caesarean. T felt the homeopathic remedies Caroline had provided had made a huge impact on this. With T’s previous caesarean, T felt a lot of pain weeks after the event, though she still felt pain this time around, it did not stop her from doing basic tasks.

This was all possible because of Caroline’s help and support of which we thank her very much.

Caroline was my doula at the birth of my son

Caroline was my doula at the birth of my son, in June 2005. I had my first baby by elective caesarian and decided that I wanted a vaginal birth with my second. The more I examined the issues, the more I realised that not only did I want a vaginal birth, I wanted a home birth. The more research I did, the more I realised that I needed a doula if I wanted to have any control over my labour. I met Caroline in a chatroom about VBACs – and then had her recommended to me by my ante-natal teacher. We met and both me and my husband got on really well with her so I booked her. It is strange, having to involve a stranger in your labour and birth – but I would recommend it to EVERYONE. Having booked Caroline, I felt doubly supported and was able to stand up to my critics ( midwives, consultants, parents) and really started to look forward to labour.

I went into labour 11 days late – so poor Caroline was getting constant texts from me – and was so supportive about the overdue baby when the consultants were getting their knickers in a twist and sharpening the scapels. On the day I went into labour she came over at about 5pm ( my waters had broken at about midday). It felt like a really exciting occasion which everyone was gathering for – not something scary at all. She constantly threw homeopathic remedies down my throat. But she was unintrusive and kept in the background when I just wanted to be with my husband. When the hospital said they didn’t have a midwife to send me Caroline gave me the confidence to wait a bit longer – which I would never have done if I was alone with DH.  I never had to have any pain relief and that was due to Caroline helping me with my breathing. She made me breathe slowly and gently instead of huffing and puffing. She held me when I was pushing – suggested positions I could get into etc. She and the midwife and DH seemed to be very peaceful and getting on just fine. She noticed me starting to push before the midwife did, now that I think about it and was quite active in getting me into the bath to rest me, and helping me through the pushing – which took nearly three hours. She
also took photos of the birth, which I’m so grateful she did!!!!

All in all, Caroline was a mental and physical support, someone who took any panic or urgency away from the experience and made it as special as it was. If I’d had to go into hospital, she would have been even more invaluable. All in all, I think every woman should have a doula – provided by the NHS.
But hey, that’s just me.

Thank you so much

Thank you so much for helping us achieve the birth of my dreams. It was truly an amazing experience

I had the support of my partner Nick and my doula Caroline Spear.

I consider myself to be a strong woman but nothing I read or did could have prepared me for the exact feeling of labour and birth. When I look back to that time, I consider myself to be very lucky because I had the support of my partner Nick and my doula Caroline Spear.

I really don’t know quite how to thank you for all you have done

I really don’t know quite how to thank you for all you have done. You have been such a support, more than I could have possibly imagined before we started upon this journey. You’ve offered unwavering support, wisdom, insight, understanding, calm, non –judgement and just such generosity of spirit. Before birth, you helped me feel empowered to have the courage to not go down an induction route and to trust my body, which totally paid off! I honestly think I wold have broken / lost my resolve when facing such pressure in those final days. I will be eternally thankful for your support and wisdom at this time.

With your support, I was able to have another glorious birth, at the ripe age of 41!!! (ha ha)

I felt I was able to stand my ground and assert myself to the remedial team, with you by my side. The birth was so positive and I feel so thankful I can disseminate that positive vibe to all the female children / younger friends in my life.

Nick really appreciated your support at the birth too. You nudging him when needed, offering moral support and practical support too (without you, there would be no water in that birth pool!) And post birth- the joys and the lows- you were there. Your support when breastfeeding crashed will always be remembered and your practical supportive advice and help, making me able to use formula and getting feeding back on track rather than completely abandoning breast feeding was so valuable.

You are amazing, you have such a gift. You are such a gift for birthing women and a gift to the universe.

I feel blessed to have had you in my life for this chapter, I’ll miss you but hope to stay in touch for a less one-sided relationship. Thanks for all your placenta remedies too!

Having Caroline as a doula made all the difference

Having Caroline as a doula made all the difference to my pregnancy, the birth and the first few weeks of motherhood.

Caroline had all the time for my emotions, to listen to how I was feeling and offered me a lot of advice and practical solutions to issues that arose, for example, an hour or so after I phoned Caroline telling her of my back pain, she popped in with 2 special back pillows and some homoeopathic remedies. I felt so looked after.

Caroline also recognised my fears from my last difficult birth, and took me to the labour ward, counselling me through all the feelings and memories that arose, moving me onto a more positive outlook on my 2nd experience of giving birth.

She came with me to consultant appointments and was able to help me understand my rights and choices. Because I had only experienced traditional midwives and hospital procedures I had not known how many positive and natural choices were available to me. It was quite eye opening. Everything I was unsure about Caroline had great advice on. This was so reassuring as in the weeks leading up to the birth there are so many unknowns.

As soon as I recognised I was in labour, Caroline was at my home, supporting me and also releasing my husband to care for our 9 year old. She never left my side from the house to the hospital and all through the birth.

Because she knew me so well and what I wanted she could speak for me and impart that all I hoped for, happened. She knew exactly how to support and encourage me. I know I wouldn’t have got through the birth so successfully without her.

She and my husband worked as a team. having a 3rd person did not make my husband feel excluded in any way. He found it to  be a great benefit and comfort knowing there was an additional person to support me.

When my little boy was born, Caroline had a wealth of breastfeeding advice and came to my home to address all of my concerns personally, showing me how to best feed him. She continued to give homoeopathic remedies to help me heal and even helped me think practically about sleeping arrangements.

I highly recommend Caroline as a doula if you are considering whether it might be the right option for you.

Sally W.